Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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