i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
