i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
