Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
