life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
