he wants to bone in the snuggie
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
