I'm eating all of the evidence.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You need a sexual gate keeper
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
