Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
