she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
