We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
