Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
