Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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