i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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