Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
