Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
and she was petting her beer can
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
