literally had 100 drinks last night.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
