she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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