Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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