I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You pole danced in your parka.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
