New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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