we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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