so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
