great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize