You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
