your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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