does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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