I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
