waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
