I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
