he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize