No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
accomplished twins. life is a go
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize