I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
