yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
