OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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