That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The Olympian is in my bed
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
