So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
