i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she peed on how many people?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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