He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
