i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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