An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
