Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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