I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
