its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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