im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
