so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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