office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
