Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
