Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
