Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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