im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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