Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
