I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
