At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
well most of my day revolves around power hour
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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