I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
