i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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