I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
