Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
