is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize