Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
