Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
