ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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