on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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