i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
